What Model of Parent Education Do You Embrace

AParentLy Great...... 

Parent training/education is recognized as the new learning trend.

There are many models of teaching/learning effective parenting strategies.  It's an ongoing learning process.

What we learn as a parent in invaluable.  We will inevitably pass it on to our kids....They will pass it along.

Most of us parent according to how we were parented.

I will never stop this teaching/learning process  Parenting is the one job that lasts a lifetime.....

I've been attending Practical Parent Education.  Right now we are discussing Identifying Roles of Responsibility..... this is a huge task..  What are your kids capable of doing, but they don't....are you responsible?......   http://bit.ly/NkGGsC

Parent Education What's in a Name?

What do we know about what parents want and need in terms of parent education ?

What do we as educators want to learn about the needs of the parents and families we serve?

How do we effectively share among ourselves and our families the things we've learned about parenting ?


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Reaching goals with charts and contracts

Is there ever a situation in a family when parents and children both get what they want? You bet there is!

            Charts and contracts are a great way to ensure that both parents and children are getting what they want. Charts and contracts are an agreement between parents and their children that involve the parents making certain benefits available when their children do certain other things. Charts and contracts are concrete, visible reminders of this agreement and can help motivate children to engage in positive activities, complete chores, or learn new skills.

            

Everyone has Goals

            Parents naturally have certain goals for their children. Often these goals have to do with managing their children’s behavior, but they may also include helping their children learn new skills or offering encouragement to reach goals their children have set for themselves.

Contracts

A contract is a written statement of what your child agrees to do and what the consequences are if he or she accomplishes that goal.

Charts

A chart is a contract that uses pictures to illustrate and keep track of an agreement between you and your child.

Benefits

Effective use of charts and contracts allows for:

More opportunity for success—charts and contracts outline attainable goals. Instead of overwhelming children with a large expectation that may be abstract and intimidating, these tools allow for incremental improvement and growth, with positive reinforcement at milestones along the way.

Listen to this recording on charts and contracts

Reaching goals with charts and contracts

Corrective Teaching

Understanding Corrective Teaching

• Misbehavior by kids is not necessarily bad
• Misbehavior does not mean you are failing your children
• Kids often misbehave purely for attention
• Misbehavior is an opportunity to teach kids a new way of behaving

Corrective teaching teaches parents how  to stay calm and be confident when kids misbehave: Use positive and negative consequences effectively, teach alternative, appropriate behaviors, and help children practice for success.

When your children misbehave, do you find yourself yelling, issuing threats and warnings, or even giving up and walking away if the negative behavior continues?  The Common Sense Parenting technique of Corrective Teaching stops negative behavior, delivers a consequence, and teaches children a positive, alternative behavior.
Questions?

• Do you have to ask your child two or three times whenever you want something done?
• Do you argue with your child over 10 more minutes of playtime?
• How about getting your child to clean his room?
• If you answered yes to any of these questions, your frustration is completely normal.

Corrective Teaching is an effective way to constructively respond to your child's misbehavior. You can use this method in many situations where you want to 'correct' your child's behavior. For example, when your kids do not follow instructions or when they argue with your decisions.

Steps to Corrective Teaching:

• Stop the problem behavior. - Ask your child to sit down or stop whatever activity he was doing and give you his full attention.
• Give a consequence. - Make a connection between what he does and what will be a result of his action. Such as taking away a privilege or adding chores.
• Describe what you want. - Be very clear and specific and have your child repeat back to you the positive behavior.
• Practice what you want. - Praise good behavior. Tell your child how the good behavior has a positive impact. Example: Thanks for getting started on your chores right away. The sooner you finish the dishes, the sooner you can play outside with your friends.

Corrective Teaching gives parents a plan of action when responding to a child's inappropriate behavior. Try practicing this on your own before you talk to your child. Make sure to include all four steps and you will see the constructive results of the Corrective Teaching method.

Listen to this audio file about kids, misbehavior and what it means!!!

correcting problem behavior

Preventive Teaching

Preventive Teaching

Introduction
“An ounce of prevention…”
Now that we’ve learned how to set rules and help our children understand our expectations, let’s discuss how we can address specific situations.

What is Preventive Teaching?

teaching your children what they will need to know for a future situation and helping them practice their responses in advance. Some examples might include how to safely cross the street, how to call 911 in case of an emergency, what types of clothing they should wear during different seasons, etc.
Introduction
Preventive Teaching can be an excellent way to outline expectations for your child in more detail. Preventive Teaching also sets your children up for success by giving them advance opportunities to think about how they will react in a given situation.
Besides, as Ben Franklin said, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

When to Use It

Preventive Teaching is an excellent technique to use with your child, especially when the child needs to learn something new or when the child has behaved inappropriately in the past.
As mentioned previously, Preventive Teaching clarifies your expectations by stating them in a positive way.

Reasonable Expectations

It’s important to consider whether your expectations for your child are, indeed, reasonable. You don’t want to set them up for failure, so ask yourself the following questions to ensure fairness:

• Have you taught the expectation to your children through parent demonstration?
• Can your children show that they understand the expectation by repeating it back to you?
• Can your children demonstrate what you expect through role playing?

How to Use It

First, ask yourself if you have taught the expectation to your children through parent demonstration? If so, your children will most likely be prepared, and receptive, to your teaching.
The steps to Preventive Teaching are quite simple:

• Describe what you would like— before your children can do what you want, they must know what it is you expect. Break the skill down into specific steps or concepts. Make it simple and make sure your child understands.
• Give a reason— kids are much more likely to comply with what you say when you give reasons for them to do so. If the reasons are age-appropriate and meaningful to the child, they are more likely to accept what you are teachingHow to Use It
• Practice— they may feel embarrassed or think that practicing is a waste of time, but practice actually eases embarrassment and raises a child’s self-confidence in their abilities when they are faced with the actual situation. Remember that if you’re enthusiastic about practicing, your kids will be more willing to participate. Practice should be fun, yet realistic.
• Offer praise— remember to praise areas that your child did well in and encourage your child to work harder in areas that still need improvement.
• Offer preventive prompts— experience adds skills, and when your child is faced with a similar situation, you can provide a quick reminder. Remember that prompts are different than warnings—warning are given when a behavior is already occurring; prompts are given beforehand

Remember the steps to Preventive Teaching:

First, describe what you would like— “Jim, remember when I call you for dinner to let me know that you heard me by saying “okay” and then come right in.”
Next, give Jim a reason to comply— “If you come in right away, you will have a better chance of having time to play after dinner.”
Then take a moment to practice— “Let’s pretend I just called you in. What are you going to say and do?” At this point, Jim says “Okay” and that he will come inside.

Conclude by offering a word of praise and a gentle reminder—
“Great! Now run along and have fun, but remember to come right home when I call.”

Example #2

Here’s an example of how Preventive Teaching could be used to help your son learn a new skill—the steps to following instructions.
Now, See if you can remember the steps to Preventive Teaching on your own.

Example #2

“Hi, Mark. I wanted to talk to you about something for a few minutes. If you pay attention and practice with me, we can play a card game together.
“I wanted to talk to you about a skill called following instructions. To follow instructions, you need to look at the person, say “okay,” do the task, and then check back afterward.
“Following instructions helps you get things done faster and then you have more free time for yourself.
“I’m going to show you how to follow instructions. Let’s switch roles for a minute. Why don’t you ask me to hand you that paper? Then, I will look at you, say “okay,” hand you the paper, and then check back to see if there is anything else you need.

Example #2

“Now let’s switch back and you can practice. Now, I’ll ask you to hand me the paper…” Remember that if you’re teaching a new skill, have your child practice at least three times.
“Great job! You looked at me, said “okay,” handed me the paper, and asked if I needed anything else. For doing such a great job paying attention and practicing how to follow instructions, you can pick your favorite game, and we’ll play for 30 minutes.
“Just remember that when you’re given an instruction, you will need to use all four steps correctly. Great job!”
Conclusion

Preventive Teaching is a great way to teach new skills and to practice for situations where your child may struggle. Preventive Teaching can increase your child’s self-esteem by showing them that they can learn how to change their behaviors and avoid problems. Believe it or not, this can also be a great way to strengthen the parent-child relationship because it actively demonstrates that you are invested in your child’s success and are willing to work to help them achieve it.

Listen to this audio excerpt on preventive teaching:
http://bit.ly/KNUtD2

Clear Expectations and Clear Messages

CLEAR EXPECTATIONS

How To Develop Expectations

Take a close look at what your current expectations are for your kids. (Make a list)
What are the social expectations --How they get along with each other, ect.

• School Expectations-- regarding point sheets, grades, teacher reports
• Family Chores --Do you expect your kids to clean up after themselves? Do they know how?
• Personal Appearance-- Showers baths, hair combing
• Religious--church attendance, prayer volunteering

• After you have listed your expectations, consider , are they reasonable for your children?
• Are the expectations that You currently have appropriate for their age and their abilities?

Determining wheather expectations are appropriate requires reasonable thinking. 

Remember AGE, ABILITIES, RESOURCES

HERE IS HOW TO TELL IF AN EXPECTATION IS REASONABLE:

1. Have you taught the expectation
2. Can your child understand the expectation
3. Can your child demonstrate what you expect.

Some parents write down their expectations in the form of a parent contract. There are many resources about parent contracting with young children. Behavioral Contracts are one way of putting behavioral expectations in writing

How To Clarify Expectations

• Describe expectations in a positive way that is, rather than telling your child what NOT to do, put emphasis on telling them what TO Do.
• Praising behavior that is consistent with your expectations and correcting behavior that does not match your expectations.

How To Encourage Kids To Work Toward Expectations


Clear expectations help kids understand what they should and should not do. They provide a framework for positive behavior. Even though kids won't meet your expectations all of the time, consistency an dpatience will pay off in the long run. Remember to ask yourself three important questions:

1. HAVE I TAUGHT WHAT I EXPECT?
2. DO MY CHILDREN UNDERSTAND WHAT I EXPECT?
3. CAN MY CHILDREN DEMONSTRATE WHAT I EXPECT?

Listen carefully to the audio excerpt about clear expectations..

http://bit.ly/Ldn86F

Now listen to the audio about clear messages:

http://bit.ly/JiOycy

The Effectiveness of Praise

Effective Praise

Introduction

Praise is Powerful!

Praising your child is one of the most important things a parent can do. Praise is nourishment; it helps your child grow emotionally just as food helps your child grow physically.

Many of us have been trained to focus on the negative—to see our children’s mistakes and shortcomings. When describing their own childhood experiences, it’s not uncommon to hear adults say “when growing up, the only time I heard from my parents was when I had done something wrong.” Does this sound familiar?

But when parents actively focus on as many positive things as possible, children feel better about themselves, and positive behaviors increase drastically. Praise really works! Just make sure you are consistent. Remember that your children won’t always remember what you said, but they will definitely remember how you made them feel.

Knowing When to Praise

Praise takes so little time, and yet the benefits are great. It is almost always appropriate to offer general praise to your kids, but specific praise can help reinforce positive behaviors in the following situations.

• Offer praise for the things we take for granted

• Offer praise for improvement, no matter how small

• Offer praise for trying to learn something new

When Giving Praise

• Show your approval—Kids are like the rest of us. They not only like to hear nice things said about them, they’d work harder to get more praise in the future. When you combine a sign of your approval with specific praise, the praise is that much more meaningful. 
• Describe the positive—Make sure you child understands what they did so they can repeat the behavior in the future. Make it brief and to the point. 
• Give a reason—Giving your child a reason for the praise shows the relationship between their behavior and the consequence. Make this relevant to them. Ask yourself, how will this behavior benefit them?
• Offer a reward (optional)—When you are especially pleased with a certain behavior, or your child made a big improvement in a certain area, you can reward your child with a special privilege.

Showing Approval

Effective praise begins with a show of approval. Try to convey excitement that your child did something noteworthy. This will get your child’s attention and ensure that he or she is receptive to your message.

Examples:

“Good job, Johnny!” “Way to go, Melissa!” “Justin, you’re the greatest!”

Describing the Positive

This step is critical to giving effective praise. This is where you reinforce the connection between the positive consequence and the behavior that led to it. Now your child will know what he or she did well, and they will choose to repeat the behavior in the future.

Be specific—remember to describe a behavior you actually saw or heard.

Make your comments brief and to the point so it’s easier for your child to understand.

If the behavior is an improvement, remember to show empathy (Example: “I know you don’t like to clean your room, but…”).

Examples:

“You got home right on time.” “Right now, you are making your bed and picking up your dirty clothes.” “You got an 80% on your math test.”

Giving a Reason

Once again, this step helps children understand the connection between behavior and outcomes. Not only is praise a positive consequence for good behavior, you can further reinforce the positive consequence by highlighting other positive outcomes that can come from their behavior.

Should be brief, believable, and age-appropriate.

Should be child-related—remember to make the reason something that is important to them (Example: “Now you’ll have more time to play with your friends.”).

Giving a Reason

Here are some examples of youth-oriented reasons:

“It’s important to accept feedback from your teacher so that he knows you are taking responsibility for your mistakes. Now he will be more likely to help you in the future.” “When you get home on time, I will trust you more often and will most likely let you go out more often.” “When you improve your grades, you will have a shorter homework time at night.” “Sharing your toys with others is helpful because they will be more likely to share their toys with you.”

Offering a Reward

Offering a reward can further reinforce the positive behavior by increasing the value of the positive consequence. This can be a fun, unexpected way to show your approval and appreciation. Rewards can be large or small, but make sure they fit the behavior. Rewards can be particularly effective when they are directly related to the behavior. Consider using the words “you have earned” when giving a reward; this shows that the reward is a positive consequence (it also helps you avoid offering a bribe by mistake).

Examples:

“Since you cleaned your room so well, you don’t have to help set the table for dinner this evening.” “Since you improved you score so much from your last test, you have earned an ice cream cone.”

Putting the Steps Together 

Example #1:

“Good job, Johnny!”

“You got home right on time.”

“When you get home on time, I will trust you more often and will most likely let you go out more often.”

Putting the Steps Together

 Example #2:

“Way to go, Melissa! I know you don’t like cleaning your room, but…”

“Right now, you are making your bed and picking up your dirty clothes.”

“Now you’ll have more time to play with your friends.”

“And since you cleaned your room so well, you don’t have to help set the table for dinner this evening.”

Putting the Steps Together

Example #3:

“Justin, you’re the greatest!”

“You got an 80% on your math test.”

“When you improve your grades, you will have a shorter homework time at night.”

“Since you improved you score so much from your last test, you have earned an ice cream cone.”

Conclusion

Always remember the 4:1 ratio—praise your child four times as much as your correct him or her. However, don’t praise for everything! It will lose its effectiveness.

Also remember that praise needs to be contingent—only offer praise for something your child has already done. And praise your child more often when they are learning a new skill. This will not only reinforce the behavior, it will encourage them along the way.

Effective praise has lasting positive impacts on families because it helps children develop higher self-esteem. They will like themselves more, and they will appreciate the way you make them feel.

Listen Here to the audio excerpt:


http://bit.ly/Ldd65s